Where I am meandering....

Odd, the twists and turns of life. Of faith.

Where the soul takes you. Where God leads you.

I was raised Presbyterian, was Lutheran for a while and then was folded into a version of Anglicanism. (Not quite the ultra conservative Anglicanism running rampant in our country, yet not the liberal Episcopal faith that has drifted in its own path.)  And I like the traditions, prayers, music and ritual of the Anglican faith; the mix of protestant faith and old church tradition.

But it isn't quite....enough.

At least not for me.  My soul is seeking a bit more.  And that has lead me to repeatedly read the works of the Christian mystics. (Please calm yourself, this isn't New Age spirituality, but rather an ancient tradition within the Church.)  I have found such writers in the Orthodox faith, the Roman Catholics, the Anglicans, a few Protestants; they are the seekers of a closer union with God.  Those who seek to dwell in wonder and mystery and awe, who flourish in grace and delight in the unfathomable depth of God's nature.  I am especially drawn to Celtic Christianity; I don't know if that is because of my family's ties to that bloodline or because of an echo of the soul....probably both.

I think in part I am drawn to them because I'm tired of the mundane, plodding, political nature of much of American Christianity.  I'm tired of God being dragged through the mud by Christians who want to use Him as a vengeful hammer to pound their enemies with.  I'm weary of the worship of money and power and popularity that pervades the modern western church.  I'm disgusted by the energy devoted to tearing down other denominations over every little thing rather than seeking common ground and understanding.  And I'm broken hearted by the lack of joy in most Christians and by the dying embers of love for their fellow man.

I want to explore faith with wonder; love my neighbor without stopping to consider what their sins are, to grasp hold of my Master's hem in absolute trust in His unfailing goodness. I want to leave the big issues of judgement to God and instead engage people in conversations on life, on the great love of Christ and the mystery of faith.  I want to increase the richness of my spirit, to spend more time in contemplation of God, to seek Him in the stillness and see Him in the workings of the world around me.  I don't want to pretend I have all the answers; I instead want to seek out the questions and rest in the knowledge that God will provide the answers when I'm ready to receive them.

Some of you have noticed and commented to me on the posts I have shared of late; many of them come from the traditions of the Christian mystics and/or Celtic Christianity (which is really just a sub group, I'd imagine.).....so here is fair warning- I'll be posting more of the same.  And if you know of any good writers to study, please share them with me.  There is such a great quantity to study; it shames me that I've not read nearly enough. (Perhaps that is a problem in much of American churches...a lack of knowledge of our history and writers?)

There is the well known quote of the Apostle John, "God is love." (1 John 4:8)  If we cannot truly fathom the depths of God's nature, but merely hold onto echoes and whispers of His great truths, then it will take a lifetime to delve into what that verse means. For how can we measure how deep His love is unless we seek to explore it?  We spend so much time trying to make God small, to make Him like us, when we should be trying to become like Him.  His love, His grace, His mercy, His power....they are all so vast, so un-measurable by our standards.  Yet we can know this: He created the world in love.  He came to us as a child, in love.  He taught us, in love.  And He died for us, in love.  The God of all power could have come in wrath and anger to straighten us out; He could have shocked us all by mighty acts sprung out of vengeance; yet He came in vulnerability, and died as a willing offering to reconcile us to Him.

If God made every effort to come to us in love, cannot we try to respond in kind to Him...and to each other?

So those are my thoughts that I am pondering, and the meandering path I am walking with God,

Be blessed, my friends, and may you be a blessing unto someone else,
Beth

A Sky Full of Children, by Madeleine L’Engle

A Sky Full of Children, by Madeleine L’Engle

I walk out onto the deck of my cottage, looking up at the great river of the Milky Way flowing across the sky. A sliver of a moon hangs in the southwest, with the evening star gently in the curve.

Evening. Evening of this day. Evening of my own life.

I look at the stars and wonder. How old is the universe? All kinds of estimates have been made and, as far as we can tell, not one is accurate. All we know is that once upon a time or, rather, once before time, Christ called everything into being in a great breath of creativity — waters, land, green growing things, birds and beasts, and finally human creatures — the beginning, the genesis, not in ordinary Earth days; the Bible makes it quite clear that God’s time is different from our time. A thousand years for us is no more than the blink of an eye to God. But in God’s good time the universe came into being, opening up from a tiny flower of nothingness to great clouds of hydrogen gas to swirling galaxies. In God’s good time came solar systems and planets and ultimately this planet on which I stand on this autumn evening as the Earth makes its graceful dance around the sun. It takes one Earth day, one Earth night, to make a full turn, part of the intricate pattern of the universe. And God called it good, very good.

A sky full of God’s children! Each galaxy, each star, each living creature, every particle and subatomic particle of creation, we are all children of the Maker. From a subatomic particle with a life span of a few seconds, to a galaxy with a life span of billions of years, to us human creatures somewhere in the middle in size and age, we are made in God’s image, male and female, and we are, as Christ promised us, God’s children by adoption and grace.

Children of God, made in God’s image. How? Genesis gives no explanations, but we do know instinctively that it is not a physical image. God’s explanation is to send Jesus, the incarnate One, God enfleshed. Don’t try to explain the Incarnation to me! It is further from being explainable than the furthest star in the furthest galaxy. It is love, God’s limitless love enfleshing that love into the form of a human being, Jesus, the Christ, fully human and fully divine.

Was there a moment, known only to God, when all the stars held their breath, when the galaxies paused in their dance for a fraction of a second, and the Word, who had called it all into being, went with all his love into the womb of a young girl, and the universe started to breathe again, and the ancient harmonies resumed their song, and the angels clapped their hands for joy?

Power. Greater power than we can imagine, abandoned, as the Word knew the powerlessness of the unborn child, still unformed, taking up almost no space in the great ocean of amniotic fluid, unseeing, unhearing, unknowing, Slowly growing, as any human embryo grows, arms and legs and a head, eyes, mouth, nose, slowly swimming into life until the ocean in the womb is no longer large enough, and it is time for birth.

Christ, the Second Person of the Trinity, Christ, the Maker of the universe or perhaps many universes, willingly and lovingly leaving all that power and coming to this poor, sin-filled planet to live with us for a few years to show us what we ought to be and could be. Christ came to us as Jesus of Nazareth, wholly human and wholly divine, to show us what it means to be made in God’s image.

Jesus, as Paul reminds us, was the firstborn of many brethren.

I stand on the deck of my cottage, looking at the sky full of God’s children, and know that I am one of them.

Ozark Psalm

On this day which You have created Lord,
we come before You to pray.
The heavens and the earth are Yours,
yet You incline Your ear to hear us,
Worthy are You to be praised.

There is none like You to be found,
high are Your thoughts and ways,
farseeing is Your eye,
nothing is hidden from You,
Worthy are You to be praised.

With one hand You uphold justice and righteousness,
from Your other hand You grant mercy and love,
grace You give freely to those who love You,
as a father You delight in Your children,
Worthy are You to be praised.

You hear not the prayers and cries of those who mock You,
You discard those who trust not in You alone,
yet You stay Your wrath,
giving the lost and broken a chance to seek Your face,
Worthy are You to be praised.

Your saints cling to Your name and Word,
trusting in Your strong arm to save,
knowing You have granted eternal salvation
to those who come to You through the Cross,
Worthy are You to be praised.

There is none righteous upon this earth,
none who may claim goodness for themselves,
all have sinned and fallen short of Your glory,
yet You offer redemption through Your Son,
Worthy are You to be praised.

Most powerful God, Lord of all,
incline Your ear to our prayers,
ever grow our faith Lord,
and forgive us our trespasses,
Worthy are You to be praised.

We come before you as sinners,
we have not loved You as we should,
grow our love for You Lord,
Let Your Word always burn in our hearts,
Worthy are You to be praised.

We come to the cross Lord,
in repentance seeking forgiveness of all our sins,
knowing You love us,
and will clothe us in Your Son's righteousness,
Worthy are You to be praised.

May we ever grow in Your grace, Lord,
may we ever show Your love to others,
may Your compassion be in our words and deeds,
that others may see You in our lives,
Worthy are You to be praised.

The Word of the Lord is good,
His righteousness has no end,
His mercy and love surround those who love Him,
Holy is His Name,
Worthy is He to be praised.

-Beth Butler

(This is the short version of the prayer that came to me one day sitting in Chapel.)

Go in the faith that
there is no valley so low,
no wilderness so vast,
no passage so crooked,
that God is not already there,
waiting to be with you.

Driving home on ribbon roads,

Driving home on ribbon roads,
with trees in glorious color,
leaves like bonfires amongst twining branches
reaching up and up
into
lavender skies with a darkening, lacy shawl of blue-
plump deer peeking up from a yard's edge,
feasting on the final flowers.
Arriving home,
with cottage windows comfortably alight,
stepping into wood smoke scented crisp air
and onto crunchy leaves-
which swirl up as I kick them
(for a moment, five again)
I smile-
knowing inside is warmth,
laughter waiting to be birthed,
and hot chocolate to be shared amongst love's hearth.

-Beth Butler

All day long a little burro labors,

All day long a little burro labors, 
sometimes
with heavy loads on her back 
and sometimes just with worries
about things that bother only
burros.

And worries, as we know,
can be more exhausting
than physical labor.

Once in a while a kind monk comes
to her stable and brings a pear,
but more than that,
he looks into the burro's eyes
and touches her ears
and for a few seconds
the burro is free
and even seems to laugh,
because love does that.
Love Frees.
~~Meister Eckhart~~

"Every creature is a word of God."

So I read this quote earlier this afternoon:

"Every creature is a word of God."--Meister Eckhart 

And I've been contemplating it ever since. If, as the Bible teaches and leads us, every thing came into being by God speaking it into creation (except for mankind, which He formed)...then all that is around us are echoes of the voice of God. Each creature, each plant, the natural landscape around us...each is a result of a word from God. 

Such a thought lends a sacredness to the world around us; we are walking in a world that resonates the Father's voice. These are things we know, on a deep inner level, I suspect, but that we don't contemplate often. Because if we stopped to think of the mirrored holiness around us (for isn't anything that is an echo or whisper of God's voice imbued with some sort of holiness?) then we would be forced to look at how we live in such a world. How we treat the world around us would have to be examined; for though the Lord allows us to use what we need from the world, we should not exploit and abuse it. We shouldn't be casual with things that ring of the sacred, nor dismissive, nor take them for granted. We should not hurry past them, not seeing nor caring, and we certainly shouldn't abuse them. We should delight in each creature and creation of God, we should revel at the beauty and wonder around us, we should be humbled that we are each entrusted with it.

And what of each other? If each creature and creation is an echo or whisper of God speaking the world into being (no matter if the world suddenly came into being or was created in God's time- which is not our own)...then what of man? He crafted us, in His image, and gave us life with His breath. Do you ever stop to wonder at the beauty and diversity of the people all around you; each a masterpiece of God, each loved and sought after by their creator.

If we are beings loved, crafted and cherished by God- each unique, each special, walking in a world filled with creatures and creations that bear the mark of God's voice upon them- that *are* because He once spoke creation into life- then how does that change how you see the world....and yourself?

You stroll, hurry, run, meander and live in a world that is a miracle; a place of wonders and mysteries. The voice of God is echoed in all that is around you, and you are amongst His masterpieces- His precious child who He calls after and adores. Take a moment to live and rejoice in the sacred love that surrounds you,

Be blessed, my friends, and may you be a blessing unto someone else,
Beth

Wet autumn woods

Wet autumn woods
Near deep pools and forceful rivers of muddy water,
The trees bereft of leaves now,
Tossed laughingly, then carelessly, and now despairingly 
onto the sodden ground,
Silent sentinels with branches up reaching
Shrouded in misty grey--
Hearkening, beckoning, whispering to winter,
Beseeching her to arrive.

-Beth Butler

A few days late but still...

A day of pause, a moment of thanks.

We so often take much of life for granted; we hurry and scurry....busyness has become a way of life for so many. When do you stop, when do you halt for a moment to look around? When do you actually contemplate your blessings?

Faith.
Family and friends.
A warm house, plenty of food, a plethora of clothing, books, electronics, knick knacks.
Beloved pets.
The relative safety of the country you live in.

The list goes on and on; especially as you consider the fate of many in the world. Where war, famine, disease, lack of water and poverty kill so many daily....hourly. Yet here we are....able to eat plenty, in cozy homes with family and pets and maybe friends, surrounded by things in excess, sending messages of cheer to other friends and family who enjoy similar comforts.

How blessed we are! Each and every one of us. How humble and thankful that should make us. We have so much, when others have so little.

I know I am grateful. For my God. For my husband and my family. For my home, quirky as it is. For the food cooking away, and for a full pantry. For a well that gives us fresh, clean water. For our books, computers, tv and more...all which make life nicer. For my beloved pets. For living in a country where I can travel at will, without fear of ambushes and road side bombs...without needing endless checkpoints and papers. For the beauty of the countryside all around.

And for each and everyone of you, my dear friends. You are each treasured, and so many of you have become family to Charles and I. Brothers, sisters and adopted children of the heart, given to us as a blessing by God.

On this Thanksgiving, I give thanks for all of these blessings, and for each of you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

(It was posted on time on Facebook, but I forgot to post it here...I've forgotten to post a lot of things on here.)