I cannot watch

In this world today,
I cannot watch,
I cannot let myself delve into children throwing rocks at soldiers
and bullets forcing a jerky dance,
revolution of ideas and anger and hope torching what was the map,
and not knowing what will be left.

I cannot watch,
endless reports of bodies washed away
and men volunteering to stay near death
to stop death for others,
and video of cars like toys bobbing along.

I cannot watch,
the roll call of our dead,
answering a country's call to fight in places we'll never hold onto,
and then to know a nation does not even know their names-
those dead who return,
who cannot be buried quietly, with dignity,
because of hate protesting and smearing their names, duty
and sacrifice.

I cannot watch,
as the people we trust to take care of us,
to guide us,
they vote not to protect us but to
exploit us,
legislate us into cattle,
fit only for using and monitoring.
I cannot watch,
as our nation spirals into witch hunts
at rallies women scream and tell our own people to go home,
where is home if not here?

I cannot watch,
as our voice, our media
deign not to tell us truths and facts
but instead air pundits who scatter fear like seeds
and water with mistrust.

I cannot watch,
it makes me heartsick,
feeling the nation become dry as tinder
as we spark off each other.

There is too much,
I cannot watch,
but only glance quickly,
scanning, praying, hoping, knowing
that because we are human
turmoil will ever be,
need will ever be,
yet taking solace in unexpected bravery,
unspoken compassion,
charity quietly given.

Faith waters roots that sink down,
holding firm to family and hearth,
a shelter from all that I cannot watch.