A column on the Christian take on suffering

I found this column tonight, about the differences in how faiths view suffering, and especially the Christian viewpoint.

I know some about physical suffering...I've had arthritis since childhood (severe), and now other complications and health issues including a heart issue.  I'm at peace with them, for I have reconciled long ago that the suffering brings me closer to God, and makes me more dependent upon Him.  But like all people, when I see stories of cancer, or floods, or earthquakes, I have wondered...why.  Why God?  I mean, I know the whole sin thing; that through sin suffering entered the world, and that it won't be made whole again until Christ comes.  I know that, I get that...but like a small child, I wonder...why.

This column was really thought provoking for me.  The author points out that in Colossians we are taught that all suffering is part of Christ's infinite suffering, and Christ's suffering was what was necessary to reconcile the fallen world back to God.  But what really got me was the sudden realization that in *my* suffering, Christ suffers with me.  With me.

When I have days I cannot breathe well, He is suffering with me.

When my foot and knee and hip ache, He is suffering with me.

No burden do I bear alone, He suffers alongside me.

How humbling.

How uplifting.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/05/why-christianity-is-far-more-sensible-than-whatever-youre-doing-right-now.html

     Father's Day approaches quickly (less than a day from now!) and I'm thinking about my Dad, many miles away in distance, but close in my heart.  When I called to tell him earlier in the week we had mailed his gift and to be looking for it, he asked, "Are you in the box?"  I wish I could have told him yes, it would be a treasure to spend Sunday with him.  I comfort myself (and him) by remembering that I will be out there later this summer, and we can watch baseball games together, and BBQ, and listen to records.  My Dad has a great record collection.


     It is easy, most of the time, when you have great parents like I do, to follow the Biblical commandment of "Honor your Father and Mother," which appears not only in the 10 Commandments but many places within the Bible.  From Exodus and Proverbs, The Gospels, Ephesians and Colossians the Bible is full of God's exhortations to honor our parents.  That doesn't mean I haven't messed up (boy have I) but I do strive to show my parents respect, deference and love whenever possible.  They're not perfect parents (but pretty close to it) and I am far from a perfect child; and I broke their hearts in one time period especially (there were mental health issues on my side, but that was no excuse) but over time, and with God's help, the relationship was restored, renewed and now seems to me stronger than ever.  God can take a damaged relationship, re-forge it and turn it into something remarkable.  What my parents and I have now is not only a parent-child relationship, but also one of fellow children of God; where we encourage one another in our missions, outreaches and prayers.  We are also friends; outside of God and my husband, I have none closer.

     The calls I make to my parents can last a half hour to two and a half hours; we discuss politics, gardening, church work, our animals, what to cook for dinner, the silly stuff one of us saw, sports news, books and tv shows.  The little things that make up our days, in some ways not very important things, but in the long run those are the things that bind lives together.  It is the intimate details of everyday life that weave together a rich tapestry.  We maintain that tapestry, my parents and I, by talking as often as possible; that way we intertwine our lives.


     This country used to have a time where families were that close normally; where you knew what someone's day entailed, but now families live further apart, children forget their elders in the haste of their own lives.  It is as if a large segment of our country is living that song, "Cats in the cradle," where a father was too busy for his son, and when the father grew old, the son was too busy for him.  Our elders too often are only remembered by token calls, cards and generic gifts; when most often what is wanted is time and thoughtfulness.  Charles and I have seen so many seniors in nursing homes who are starved for attention from their families; it is heartbreaking.


     But, you say, God doesn't expect me to chunk out large parts of my life to listen to my parents talk about the tv show they watched last night, or how the church social went, does He?


    Yes.  He does.


    When God commanded (not suggested) us to "Honor your Father and Mother" (Exodus 20:12) I don't think He was saying it (or carving it into the stone tablet as it were) just to amuse Moses. "Hey, do you know what God said up on that mountain- He said we have to honor our parents- isn't that a hoot," was not what Moses relayed when he shared the news with the ancient Israelites. It was so important to God that Christ brings it up, Solomon teaches on it, Paul writes about it....it is mentioned over and over and over again.  As if God knew it would be something He'd have to force-feed us by repetition. (For a list of verses, see the bottom)

    Honoring means making time for.  Honoring means putting them before yourself as best you can.  Honoring means respecting their opinions.  Honoring means treating with respect.  Honoring means cherishing.

    According to the thesaurus, honor has these synonyms: "esteem, respect, pay homage to, assigning value to." The Greek word translated "honor" in our English Bibles, timao, means "to prize, i.e. fix a valuation upon; by implication, to revere" (Strong's Concordance). Showing honor, then, means treating another respectfully because we value them highly.

    What, you ask, does one do if your parents are abusive?  

     That is a question brought up because sadly, there are people who have failed at parenting.  They have physically or emotionally abused their children. God does not expect you to have a close relationship with someone who harms you.  He's God, He has your best interests at heart, and when you accept Christ, you become His adopted child.


    That said, He does expect you to honor them.  Even if honoring means, for your safety sake, you can't ever be in close contact.  Honoring them then can be lifting them up in prayer regularly.


     My Mother had a rough relationship with her Mom.  My grandmother related to me on different occasions that she was not a good parent to my Mom.  My Mother dealt with what I would consider emotional scarring and abuse.  It would have been enough to drive any daughter away.

    But instead of running away, my Mother honored.  She prayed for her mother.  She sent her cards on all holidays.  She sent gifts; thoughtful ones she spent much time choosing.  She called, even if it was to be dismissed.  She honored.  And in time, God answered prayers, and restored that relationship.  My Grandmother (who was always kind to me) and my Mother visited, then visited more often.  They talked, and healed.  My Mother was told how much she was loved, and my Grandmother was able to treasure all the love my Mother had always held for her.

    Not everyone will be given such healing, and not all scars can be healed.  But love, honoring and prayer can do much.


   My Dad taught me a lot about how to honor a parent as well.  His Mother, Grandma S., lived in a town about 35, 40 minutes away.  My parents both worked during the week, and my Dad was going back to school, but every Sunday afternoon, without fail, we went over.  Dad would take his Mom, who didn't drive, shopping, and help her with her bills.  He would fix little things around the house that needed it, and we would sit in her big living room and I learned about honoring through listening.  She would tell stories of her youth, and we would listen.  She would tell of a recipe, and we would listen. (OH, how I wish I had written that stuff down now!)  She and Dad would walk the roads of her memories that she wanted to re-live, and then we would all enjoy a big dinner.  (She *could* cook.)  It was what we did, every Sunday afternoon, for years.  It was honoring.


     I also learned about honoring parents when I met and married my husband Charles, and saw him with his Mom, Ruth. Ruth lived with us for the first few years of our marriage.  Charles had been the child of her older years, he was the baby- the darling of her eyes, and as old age made her feeble, he was the one who cared for her.  Ruth was feisty and funny, and sometimes had a temper (she was Irish-American after all) and her son adored her.  She would come in to tell him a bit she had learned on the History channel, and he always paused what he was doing to listen.  Treats were always picked up at the store for her, jokes always thought up that she might enjoy.  He honored her.


     In this culture where honor is becoming outdated, where things have more value than people, who are you honoring?  Who do you give your time to?  You should honor God first and foremost, and your spouse who you are building a life with, if you have one.  But make time to honor your parents, and all of your elder relatives.  They still have stories to tell, wisdom to give, jokes to crack, and love in abundance.  They should not be an afterthought, or a passing interest.  God holds their place and value in the order of things quite highly (after all, He repeats over and over and over again- Honor your parents, and take care of the elderly)...and if He thinks it is so important, shouldn't it be important to you as well?



Bible Verses About Honoring Your Parents:

Exodus 20:12 --Honor your Father and Mother (The one in the 10 Commandments)


Ephesians 6:1 - 3; “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” 


Those who honor their parents are blessed (Jeremiah 35:18-19). Contrasting, those with a “depraved mind” and those who exhibit ungodliness in the last days are characterized by disobedience to parents (Romans 1:30; 2 Timothy 3:2). 


Solomon, known for his wisdom, urged children to respect their parents (Proverbs 1:8; 13:1; 30:17). Although we may no longer be directly under their authority, we cannot outgrow God’s command to honor our parents. 


Jesus, God the Son, submitted Himself to both His earthly parents (Luke 2:51) and His heavenly Father (Matthew 26:39). If we follow Christ's example as we are supposed to do, we should treat our parents the way we would reverentially approach our heavenly Father (Hebrews 12:9; Malachi 1:6).


Mark 7:6 is where Jesus calls the Pharisees for the hypocrisy of saying they honored their parents, but bending God's law so that they didn't really have to.  God wants us to honor our parents with our words *and* our actions.


 “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Colossians 3:20).

With thanks to the blogs found at the following links where I was able to get some fodder for thought:
http://www.cgg.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Library.sr/CT/RA/k/164/A-Matter-of-Honor.htm

http://www.gotquestions.org/honor-father-mother.html

Stained Glass Window

If you are bitter about something, or unforgiving, or mired down in the muck of life and complicated relationships; let it go. God does not mean for you to carry the burden on your shoulders- He tells us in the Old and New Testaments to forgive others, in part because that helps YOU to be healthier and happier. People will hurt you in this life, it is inevitable; we live in a fallen and broken world. You must choose how you deal with that.

A pastor of my youth told me a wonderful story once during my confirmation class: He held up a picture of a solid blue window and a stained glass window of many colors. He asked us (the class) which was more beautiful- we answered the stained glass window. And then he said, "The stained glass window is made up of many broken pieces of glass, fused together by an artist to make something beautiful. In this life, you will be hurt and broken, it is the nature of the world we live in. But if you allow God to take the pieces of your life and do with them what He will, He will make them into something truly beautiful."

Are you holding onto the broken shards of your life, or are you allowing God to make something beautiful out of them? Holding onto bitterness, un-forgiveness, anger and hate tells God you don't want Him to be the artist of your life; it keeps your life a pile of broken shards. Releasing those feelings and turning things over to God is your way of allowing Him to begin crafting your life.

Let your life be a breathtaking stained glass window.

Be blessed friends, and be a blessing to someone else.

More thoughts on: “In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone.” (St. John of the Cross.)

More thoughts on: “In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone.” (St. John of the Cross.)

Jesus said that the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love your neighbor, and that on these two commandments all the rest of the law hangs. (see Matthew 22:37-40) When it all come down to the end, when we must stand before God- how we we answer when asked of how we loved. Will we be able to say we always strove to love God (I know at times I fall short, and need to ever try harder) and will be able to say we always tried to love our neighbors? (Again, at times I fall short, and after repenting, strive again.) 

There are many things in the Bible; guidance, wisdom, histories, sagas, poetry and passion. God's instructions for us are contained within, and His great, encompassing love for us. The sad story of sin and our fallen nature is revealed, as well as the plan and gift of redemption. We are told within the Bible's pages what we are like standing on our own merits (fallen, sinful, petty, vengeful people...and you know we all are.)....and we are told what we can be in God's eyes when covered by the Redemptive blood of Christ- then we are His adopted children, sinless and welcomed. We ourselves must make the choice of how we want to appear before God at the time of judgement, and whether our names shall be found in the Book of Life.

Whether or not our names will be found in the Book of Life has much do to with how we love. If we actually attempt to ever love God more, to learn more of Him and to honor Him. If we actually attempt to love our neighbors -and that means loving even those who are different (perhaps especially those who are different)..whether that difference is cultural, racial, political, sexual, etc or if we buy into the mainstream divisive nature of western religion. Sadly the church in the west (and perhaps in other places too, but I have not been there and can not speak of it) is often more concerned with being self righteous than spreading the Gospel, of having the right appearance rather than reaching the poor, of being politically aligned than being radical like Jesus. We cannot love our neighbors if we sneer at them, we cannot love our neighbors if we are too busy shouting and condemning them, and we cannot love our neighbors if we are too busy keeping up with the Jones to see the starving. 

We cannot be Christ like while emulating the Pharisees. It doesn't work.

We will not always be able to love God as we should, nor our neighbors as we should- for we are fallible and will stumble. It is whether or not we repent of easing up our efforts that matters- and if we begin anew. If all the law hangs upon whether we love God and our neighbors- should those commandments not be what we work the hardest to follow? For if we truly love God and continually try and maintain communion with Him, the rest will come easy. The love for others, the keeping of His will, living a life more suited to the faithful- those are all fruits of loving God as we should. 

In the evening of your life, will a life of love be evident?

Be blessed friends, and be a blessing to someone else.

-Beth Butler

Thoughts on Ephesians 1:1-10

This set of verses is very meaningful for me. First Paul tells us that God has always had a plan for us...."just as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world..." We have been chosen to be His adopted children before the foundation of the world, we have been in the plans of God before He even made the world- how blessed and chosen does that make you feel!?

He destined us for adoption- to be fully accepted as His children, through Christ. That is awe inspiring and humbling. God destined us to be in His family, in love and through the riches of His grace.

I just wanted to share these verses because I want all of you to stop for a moment and consider that even on the days you feel ho-hum or like you are nobody special that God considers you of infinite value. Before He made the world He had selected you as His child, and then made the provision through Christ's blood that you can be blameless before Him and secured forever in grace. If God has held you in His heart since before our world's birth then you are amazing, and loved and wanted by the Most High. Never let anyone tell you that you're not important, valued and loved....because God treasures you!

Ephesians 1:1-10

1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, To the saints who are in Ephesus and are faithful in Christ Jesus: 2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 just as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before him in love. 5 He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace that he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace 8 that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and insight 9 he has made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure that he set forth in Christ, 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to gather up all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

A Missouri Drive

On a meandering, weaving ribbon of road-
through velvet green hills,
past sparkling shimmers of creeks 
and gems of pools- hushed and quiet-
fireflies beginning the dance of the gloaming
against a setting of purple and pink laced sky-
affable green sentries of ash, birch, poplar and oak
wave us goodnight, bobbing in the breeze-
as we reach home a soft light is on
welcoming us inward.