We are all damaged.

Each and every one of us.

I've not yet to have met a person who wasn't scarred, hurt, broken, shaken, or self doubting...usually, many of the above...with some extra baggage thrown in.

As a peer counselor in high school, I saw it in the gang kids I talked to....yet also saw it in the popular kids I was friends with.  One group just showed it in anger, and the other practiced learning to hide who they were.

In journalism, while the wounds of the disenfranchised were easy enough to see, with enough digging you found that even the very successful were trying to overachieve in order to drown out the voices of doubt, mocking and hatred that lingered in their pasts.

I've seen it in the shaking homeless man and the woman with the brilliant smile....they just have different coping techniques.  The workaholic buries his pain, while others run theirs off in sports.

We are all damaged. Some from youth, some from life's turns, some at the hands of loved ones.  Some may appear to have an "easier road"....but even they, as you get to know them, are, in my experience thus far, tightly guarding kernels of pain and fear lest they lose the facade they've so carefully built up be lost.

We'd be nicer to each other if we recognized this truth.  That everyone's hurt, everyone's been broken, everyone is afraid of something....and that everyone still has value.

Because we're more than how we've been hurt. We're more than who has broken us...even if that person was ourselves.  We're more than the image we cling to so desperately....we are both the light and dark in our natures.....we are both our failures and our successes.  We might be damaged...but hopefully we're also the person who is overcoming that....who is saying, "I'm more than *just* that."

Sooner or later, if we want to be content....if we want to be happy....we have to take that step.  We have to step away from the baggage. We have to say, "Yeah, okay....that crap happened, and maybe it will happen again (because...life can be like that)....but that's NOT who I am.  And that's NOT who I am going to be.  It's part of me, it shaped me into the complex person I am today (who is full of infinite worth and beloved by God)....but I am going to become the person I want to be, who God calls me to be.  I am not staying in this mental place, I am not staying as I am.  I am more."  (And God will help you heal, help you to become "more"....if you let Him.  It may not be an easy or fast process...but He can heal all wounds.)

As you go through life...be kind.  Those people out there...ALL those people, they're hurting. They're damaged. Just like you.  And some will be trying to heal, and some are still trying to hide the hurt and pretend....but all can use a dose of kindness and compassion.

And while you're at it, be gentle with yourself....and step forward into healing.

-Beth Haynes Butler​

What should our temporary sufferings mean if it draws another towards the open arms of the Savior?

"What then are we to do about our problems? We must learn to live with them until such time as God delivers us from them. We must pray for grace to endure them without murmuring. Problems patiently endured will work for our spiritual perfecting. They harm us only when we resist them or endure them unwillingly."
-  A.W. Tozer​

I have found this so often to be true.  There are burdens and storms in this life, and they come to the Christian and non-believer alike, as to the strong and the weak, the kind and the cruel.  We were not promised a life without strife and struggle, without illness and heartbreak.....if our Lord wept, and our Lord suffered, how can we expect to be exempted?

But...how we handle the tempests and burdens makes all the difference. If we shoulder them with bitterness, if we harbor anger...then our soul becomes poisoned.  If we make others to suffer for the state we are in....as in attacking our spouse, our friends, our loved ones or the stranger on the street with harsh words dripping with venom, then the misery only spreads and guilt adds to what we are already carrying.

Yet.....yet there is another option.  To walk into the storm knowing God has gone before you, trusting and praising in Him.  To sit with the illness and offer words of worship to the Lord, and encouragement to others.  To attempt to sweeten the lives of those around you even as your soul feels tossed in the waves.  To pray that God be glorified in this time, and that He might strengthen you to bear it all the better and to be a witness for Him.

When we do that, my friends...everything changes.  Our lives, even with and especially because of our trials, show the light of God and His grace within us.  Our peace, and even such joy as can be found in trying times, confuses those who know not God and they are drawn to find out the source of your contentment and trust. When we lay our suffering at the feet of Christ as a gift, He takes that meager offering...so like the five loaves and two little fish, and He magnifies it into something beyond what we could have imagined.

And is there any better use of our trials than to allow God to work through them?  What should our temporary sufferings mean if it draws another towards the open arms of the Savior?

Will you not give to God what you are struggling with?  Will you not trust and praise in Him even at this time, when the storm is dark and the light seems far off?  For if you do, He will work through you and hold you safely in the tempest.

Be blessed my friends, and may you be a blessing to someone else,

-Beth Haynes Butler​

God is gracious, and full of mercy.

I have had a few rough weeks, as many of you know, and early last week suffered a heart spell, breathing issue and auto-immune flare up. I was almost back to a state of normal, when two nights ago, I had a massive set back. A situation arose in which I could barely breathe, it was very like suffocating, and quite alarming. Thankfully, we were able to get it under control, with God's help. (It is also a comfort to have a husband who is first aid/cpr trained, so if that is needed....)

Most of yesterday was spent in bed, with Charles ever checking on me and telling me of the loving and wonderful prayers and words so many of you sent. I thank you deeply.

Today, I rested most of the day, getting up to post Church pages (and yes, I admit, check on the status of my favorite game on FB...)...in a few moments, I will be leaving the computer for the evening to rest again. I am looking forward to some of the Chinese food Charles bought yesterday being reheated for dinner....easy and tasty. Another mercy to be grateful for. Also to be thankful for is the knowledge, medicine and treatment to help manage this condition. And one of my greatest blessings is the husband God has gifted me with, who is loving, kind and tender.

We so often forget what offering praise in troubled waters (or situations of life) will open up. As I was coughing and quite literally gasping for air the other night, I thought in my mind and said with my heart, "Even now Lord, You are good, please be with me,"...and within seconds, a calm and peace descended upon me and my coughing started to subside. When we praise God, especially in such moments, we open ourselves up to an even fuller measure of His grace and mercy....and our trust in Him at those times glorifies His name and power. When your back is to the wall, my friends, then it the time to most honestly and sincerely "praise Him in the storm." I have seen miracles arise from doing such before (a cancer issue years ago)...and I saw it again two nights ago.

Blessed be the name of the Lord, for He is my rock and my salvation.

I wish you all a good night and a blessed tomorrow. I am sorry if I didn't like many of your posts today, I will hope to catch up more on posts and messages tomorrow and through the week. May the Lord hold you all in His hands.

Faith is grown and deepened not in the sunny vales of life; nor in the peaceful respites.  The man, or woman, who says "God is good" only when everything is going the way they want it to has not shown any trust, any reliance upon the Lord.

Show me instead those in the struggle, in the mire, with their challenges...who hoist up their crosses, and walking into the storm, proclaim, "Blessed be the name of the Lord...for He is my rock and my salvation."  There, then, is the man or woman marked as God's own,  For in the tempests, and in the fire, and in those lonely valleys...there is where we come to see how deep our faith truly is, and what that faith means to us.

Pity those who only have faith when life is fair, for they are not clinging to Christ...but to ease.  Sorrow for those who will only believe if God gives them what they want, and when they want it...for they have traded Jesus for a genie, and forsaking truth, they grasp at idols.

When in trials, when life's waves are crashing about you, when in sorrow, pain or tribulation, seek ever more He who walks with you through all of life's challenges.  Hold fast to Christ Jesus, for though the night is dark and you know not the way, He will lead you home. He will keep faith, He will not forsake you. He does not promise us a life free of strain, illness or heartbreak, but He does promise to be in the heart of it all with us.  In the storms that come, my friends, look to what...or to whom, you are holding onto; then shall you see where you've placed your faith.

When in the bleakness, or in the time of fear, when the burden is great or the pain crippling, can you say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord, for He is my rock and my salvation?"  Great is the comfort of the Lord for those who can.

Be blessed, my friends, and may you be a blessing unto someone else,

-Beth Haynes Butler​

For those who have said "just believe you're being healed"....it's not quite that simple. Two weeks ago I got some very distressing news that was compounded by other factors, and it triggered a heart spell...which with Pulmonary Hypertension, wasn't unexpected, and has taken fairly long to heal. PH also causes breathing issues, which were brought about by the spell. I also have an auto immune disorder, and those have what are referred to as "flare ups"...which are exceedingly painful and draining. I am in the middle of one of those now, it hit night before last. It will pass.

I have lived with arthritis most of my life. I have lived with PH now for almost 8 years (has it been that long, Charles?) and the auto-immune disease, I'm not quite sure when it set in, but many people in my family have it, and while it doesn't manifest itself often, when it does, it is a doozy.

I am upset about none of this, nor bitter, nor calling on and demanding God do anything. We ask for Him to help me through it, to ease it and heal it if...IF...it is in His Will and for His glory. Otherwise, I pray that He uses this, and any other means, to draw me nearer unto Him, to teach me ever greater reliance upon Him, and to be able to use this to witness and minister to others who are hurting or in pain. And in that manner, all of these things become a blessing to me.

These health issues, they are the cross I have been given to bear; and they are the thorn in my side. If God wants them lifted, or cured, He will do so. He has before, when I had cancer. I know He can do it, but I do not presume to put my will upon Him, but rather submit unto God.

I do believe the prayers of friends and family help; they have kept bad colds from going into my lungs, those prayers have helped with relief from pain, and I know prayer can work wonders. But until God decides to lift these from me, or call me home, they are just a factor of my daily life. It is not a matter of believing enough, or having a strong enough faith....I KNOW and trust in my Lord; He is ever with me.

But as Paul said, when we are weak, then we are strong in the grace of our Lord......and His grace is ever sufficient for me.

When a Christian is more interested in pointing out the errors in other people's lives, hobbies and interests than in their own...they have forgotten the depth of their own sins against God.

Before you tear down others, examine your own soul. Before you apply Scripture to another's life, apply it wholeheartedly to yourself.

So often we love to point out the errors of others, while ignoring the mire we ourselves keep slipping into.  And while there are times for correction (especially warning against false teachings)....there is never a time to be pelting others with stones...for I've not yet met one mere mortal without sin.

I always look at it this way for myself....I am a wretch, wholly human and wholly flawed, saved by the grace and mercy of Christ Jesus.  I cannot even manage to fully keep the Two Greatest Commandments as they should be kept; I do not love God as I ought, nor do I love my neighbor as fully as I should.  Until I can perfectly keep even just those two commandments...no stones will be in my hands.

For I have no right, having been saved myself, to pelt others for having failings such as I myself do.

And pondering upon it...I've never seen the "sinner who is bullied and pelted by the faithful" come unto Christ....they're usually terrified He's as wretched and small minded as the stone-throwers.  When in fact, there is no one who loves the fallen and the broken more, no one with more compassion or understanding, no one more willing to forgive and welcome.  I wish more Christians would tell of Christ as He is; and not use Him as a weapon to hurt others.

-Beth Haynes Butler​

"Practice love diligently. It is one of those graces, above all, which grow by constant exercise. Strive more and more to carry it into every little detail of daily life. Watch over your own tongue and temper throughout every hour of the day, and especially in your dealing with children and near relatives. Remember the character of the excellent woman: “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26). Remember the words of Paul: “Do everything in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14).

Love should be seen in little things as well as in great ones. Remember, not least, the words of Peter: “Love each other deeply”; not a love which just barely is a flame, but a burning, shining fire, which everyone around us can see. (1 Peter 4:8) It may cost pains and trouble to keep these things in mind. There may be little encouragement from the example of others. But persevere. Love like this brings its own reward."

- J.C. Ryle 

One cannot untangle the dancer from the dance anymore than the singer and their song, nor unweave the story from the teller. There are those in whose soul the very act of creation, the manifestation of art and light and beauty, takes root and continually grows, springing forth...for it cannot help but to be so.

--Beth Haynes Butler

Sports. Sports. Sports.

Basketball will be wrapping up for the Pros...(and as College Ball just did)...Hockey is headed towards the playoffs, and Baseball is beginning.

I love sports, I do. I love baseball, the game, the crowds, the atmosphere, the theater of it all. And Charles turned me into a hockey fan (and hey, the Blues are doing pretty well right now, so yay!).....and I do follow, quietly, college basketball...rooting for Duke and SLU. (Good year for Duke, so of course everyone who doesn't like Duke is vacillating between grumbling, grudging respect, or complaining.)

We all have teams we love, if we love sports at all. And that's fine...sports are supposed to have intense moments that endear the teams to us. We love the quirks of the players and coaches/managers, we love the style of the game, we love the burst of adrenaline.

But please.....please.....please remember...it is a game. It's not worth being bitter about. If your team loses, they lose. I didn't hold it against Boston when they beat us in the Series...and as much as I am in NO way a Giants fan, I didn't hold it against them, or their fans, when they beat us for the National League Championship last year. Losses happen. The best team wins the game at hand. Some days or night the victory belongs to your team...and sometimes... it doesn't.

I love the line in "A League of Their Own," where Tom Hanks, a gruff manager says to his all-girl team during the War Leagues..."THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!" I laugh every time.

But it's true. There shouldn't be crying, or whining, in sports. If you win...win gracefully. If you lose, lose gracefully. Have dignity, both the fans and the players. I was raised by a hardcore sports fan, who has very strong opinions on which teams we are to like and which teams we do not like...he passed most of those down to me. But I never bad mouth my friends' teams after a game...even though I shall never, ever root for the Giants or 49ers. (Sorry, CA friends.) And when those teams have beaten one of mine in a hard fought series...I try and go to friends I know who support those teams and congratulate them on the win.

Because friendships are more important than sports.

So during the playoffs for Basketball or Hockey, or through the long baseball season....don't get cocky....teams win, and teams lose...and no one knows who will take the night until the buzzer goes off. Be gracious...and remember....it is Just. A. Game.

-Beth Haynes Butler

On this Holy Saturday, as we sit and reflect on the grief and uncertainty of the Disciples, of Mary and the other women...I can't help but think of the families of those killed in Kenya but a few days ago. Their sorrow is deep and their hearts must be bruised.

Yet because we know that after the sorrow of this solemn day comes the joy of the news of Resurrection, we know that death is not "it."  Death doesn't win, it is but a transition for us, from this life to the new with Christ Jesus, who died so that we might eternally live.  I pray that the truth of the Resurrection is comfort to those families, and to all who have lost loved ones recently who trusted in the Lord, that while we might have sorrow now, there is rejoicing to come.

We mourn, but we do not mourn as those who have no hope. (1 Thessalonians 4:13) We might suffer, but we look towards a day when we shall be made whole. We weep, but in the morning comes rejoicing. (Psalm 30:5)

This life is filled as much with times of sacred waiting upon the Lord as it is filled with times of purpose and activity; there are times of mourning as well as of joy. And for those who trust in Christ Jesus, who love Him and seek to keep His commands, let us rest in the assurance that death has been defeated because Christ gave Himself over to the Cross and tomb. While we mourn now, we will rejoice later. We have hope, and we can look towards the new dawn.

-Beth Haynes Butler​

On the evening that we hold in sacred remembrance of how Christ was betrayed a Disciple's greed and dashed political aspirations (Judas wanted a warrior Messiah) and turned over to the hand of religious conservative fundamentalists who wanted Him killed.....let us pause and reflect a moment.

Our job is to bring the Savior's message and love unto the world, and how we do so will impact who will listen to what we have to say.  This is a sacred duty we as Christians are charged with, and nothing should interfere with this.

Yet, I have seen so many uncivil and nasty posts lately that make me think..."If I were a person of a different political persuasion than Person X, would I feel comfortable going to them to ask them of their Jesus?  Would I listen to them if they came up to me to tell me about Jesus?"   (This is a main reason that Charles​ and I purposefully remain very apolitical on FB.....because Christ's message is far more important than our view on politics, and nothing should be a hindrance to that message getting out.

If your zeal for politics (and nastily slamming those who have a different opinion than you) ever becomes an impediment for anyone approaching you to learn of the truth and love of Christ...then you are no longer doing God's work, but the devil's.

Let nothing of this world so consume your passions that you put it before loving God, loving your neighbor and sharing the truth of Christ in love, gentleness and respect.

- Beth Haynes Butler​

 I personally feel, and this is just me, that we spend far too much time, as American Christians, on politics and being a social club. We don't spend nearly enough time sowing the seed of the Gospel, reaching out to the lost, poor, broken and outcasts. Jesus didn't tell us we'd change the world by taking up political issues, He told us we'd change it by our love and by doing His will. And I've met far too many people who claim to follow Jesus who don't want to do anything other than trot Him out as a political prop, or a reason for a fun gathering.

He called us to help change lives by bringing people to Him. He called us to love as He has loved. Sadly, in our ministry, when I have asked the lost what they think of Christians...almost all of them say that Christians hate them. It takes a mountain of love to even begin to heal the wounds that some people have felt for a lifetime.

I'm not saying don't vote. I'm not saying don't have an opinion on issues. But I believe those things are civil issues, not Christian ones....they are of the world, not of Christ. And Christ's work should come first. We're failing in this country...daily, by not showing enough love, by not reaching out enough, by not caring enough, and by not living Christ centered lives enough.

There are some true followers of Christ doing His work, spreading the Gospel....but they're a remnant in this society.

Maybe, I take my political leanings from St. Paul....because he talked, or wrote, so very much about how everyone should try and change Rome. Oh wait....he talked about how we should change ourselves and spread the Gospel.

Holy Wednesday- or Spy Wednesday

This day in Holy Week is sometimes called "Spy Wednesday" for it is the day when Judas asked what he would be given if he betrayed Christ.

We all have the choice whether we will betray Christ daily, or deny Him as Peter did just a day later.

How, you ask, can I betray Christ? "I'm no Judas, and I'm no Peter. I'm faithful."

Careful, friends. We are all human and falter. We betray Christ when we choose something over Him. We deny Christ when we don't acknowledge Him with our words and actions. We may never be as dramatic as Judas or Peter, but we have all failed Christ.

Yet, the wonder is, Christ forgives all who come to Him. He holds out scarred hands to us, bidding us "come and rest, abide." He knows we are frail and that we will stumble. He knew that about us before He was raised on the Cross to make atonement for us. He knew all we would do, all the ways we would sin, yet loved us passionately enough to die for us. And with His Resurrection, He overcame that old frightening entity of death and made clear the way for our salvation.

Judas couldn't face the darkness within; what he had done consumed him and he killed himself. Peter, though impetuous and filled with faults, looked instead to the newly risen Christ and found forgiveness. If we stare into our own darkness, our own sin, our own weakness, we will fall and succumb to depression, angst and condemnation. But if we look instead to Christ, confessing our sins and our weakness, He is quick to forgive and always ready to surround us with his abounding love.

He did not condemn Peter, He will not condemn you, if you only you come to Him. Don't handle things on your own like Judas.....you can't save yourself.

Be blessed, my friends, and may you be a blessing unto others.

-Beth Haynes Butler