cattails

Mom used to do flower arrangements for the church of my youth, and later the church they joined, from time to time. (And another time, I'll tell you about picking Black Eyed Susans for just such an arrangement)....

But for this late summer church arrangement...Mom had decided she wanted a "woodsy feel".... "I just think we should focus on the natural world this week, Beth....so I'm going to look for wild pieces to use."

I sighed.  That meant she was going to get me into some trouble or another...

The trouble turned out to be...cattails.  You know, those long stalks that end in the brown tube, that grow in marshy areas....like canal banks.  Guess who got to go into said marshy area and cut a dozen cattail stalks?

It wasn't Mom...SHE had new sandals.

Who knows what bugs and snakes were in that grassy wetland. Ugh.

So I cut the cattails, I hand them to Mom, Mom puts them in the trunk, and we head off for errands. Getting this, getting that...stopping for frozen yogurt. (That was something Mom and I loved to do together)....then heading home towards Tulare along the quiet back roads.

It's dark-ish now....and hot. It is, after all, August in the Central Valley.  Hot...kinda humid. (I had NO clue what humid was until I moved out to the Midwest.)

Then, as we're passing a foreclosed house....the only one for miles (we're in the greenbelt/ag area)....we hear...

"POP. POP. POP."

We look at each other in shock.

Mom exclaims, "Someone's shooting at us!!" And starts taking evasive manuervers...like she's some specially trained police officer or something...

"POP...POP..POP...POP..POP..."

"Keep your head down Beth, I'll get us home, honey! Some damn drunk farmer is probably the shooter.."

More evasive driving...I'm getting alarmed, we're almost to the overpass by the old Tagus Ranch..I really don't want her to take an evasive drive over the edge....

"POP...POP...POP...POP..."

then...silence.

"Oh thank the good Lord, honey, we got away. Wait until your father hears about this!"

We drive the last few miles...Mom with an angry glint in her eye...me shaky from Mom's driving and whatever that sound was....

As we got home, and got our shopping out of the backseat, Mom said, "Oh yeah, let's get the cattails..I'll soak them in water tonight..."

And we opened the trunk...to a world of fluff.

Cattails explode in the heat, ladies and gentlemen. And make an unholy mess when they do.

In silence we looked at each other.  Then Mom sighed...turned to me and said, "Don't tell your father."