Grace can be a hard thing to grasp. We, who are so filthy and torn and muddled.....that we should not only be allowed to approach the throne of God, but even more than that, that He longs for us to do so. That He calls to us, woos us, waits for us with eager eyes and open arms.
I was around 15 or 16 when I had the epiphany (after reading Screwtape Letters) that I knew I was wretched, but that God knew every thought, every sin, every fault and folly that I had committed to that point...and that I would ever commit. And He loved me anyway. That He cherishes me even when I hate myself. That He delights in me even when I dismiss myself.
I know I don't deserve it, that nothing I will ever do, could ever do, would earn me that mercy, that grace, that wondrous enveloping exulting love. And that frees me.
It frees me from feeling like I have to toe up to a line, to measure up, to make the right people happy. The law is a heavy burden, a soul breaking burden, a constant game of :Can I do enough?
That's why I don't understand why people make faith so difficult; when it is so easy. Yes, it has challenges that demand we follow Christ instead of the world, but once you're in love with Jesus, that's not that hard to do. I like a formal church and the aura of worship what comes with liturgy, but I know that is just a way that I express my love to God, those rituals don't do anything to save me. Anymore than the service at any other church is what saves anyone else. We're not bound by such things anymore.
We're only bound by love. And thankfully, it is Christ's love, which is so much stronger, that holds us.
I was around 15 or 16 when I had the epiphany (after reading Screwtape Letters) that I knew I was wretched, but that God knew every thought, every sin, every fault and folly that I had committed to that point...and that I would ever commit. And He loved me anyway. That He cherishes me even when I hate myself. That He delights in me even when I dismiss myself.
I know I don't deserve it, that nothing I will ever do, could ever do, would earn me that mercy, that grace, that wondrous enveloping exulting love. And that frees me.
It frees me from feeling like I have to toe up to a line, to measure up, to make the right people happy. The law is a heavy burden, a soul breaking burden, a constant game of :Can I do enough?
That's why I don't understand why people make faith so difficult; when it is so easy. Yes, it has challenges that demand we follow Christ instead of the world, but once you're in love with Jesus, that's not that hard to do. I like a formal church and the aura of worship what comes with liturgy, but I know that is just a way that I express my love to God, those rituals don't do anything to save me. Anymore than the service at any other church is what saves anyone else. We're not bound by such things anymore.
We're only bound by love. And thankfully, it is Christ's love, which is so much stronger, that holds us.
No comments:
Post a Comment